仙苑浪子~~~TRAMPER IN PARADISE

The Forbidden City is really overcrowded on Sunday by tourists, speaking different languages, taking photos, ohing and ahing at the magnificent architectures-the Hall of Supreme Harmony, the Hall of Central Harmony and the Hall of Preserved Harmony.  Who could imagine, however, predecessors of those eye-catching tourists with curled hairs, blue eyes and fair complexion, commonly known as Laowai in China now, 10 decades ago were flocking into the City to rob and smash.  Tz’u-his, the Empress Dowager, fled quickly with her nephew, Emperor Kuang Hsu, and the City was in westerners’ hand.  2 decades ago, on 4^th June there was a big event on the square in front of the City.  Standing on the biggest square in the world, I could find no clues in relation to the event, but only crowds, engaging themselves in feeling the greatness of the nation.  It is said that half the journalists in Peking turned out to be spies when it occurred.  This time they did not come to rob or smash, but made extensive coverage over the event, whose anniversary always stings the sensitive nerve of the Authority.  Soldiers lowered their rifles and many were dead and thousands injured.  There is a sculpture in Hong Kong University, named Guoshang in Chinese, and it is composed of different skulls with pained expressions by putting one dead on the top of another.  When it came into my sight, I connected it with those shocking photos spreading on internet immediately.  You can easily find the event in western politicians’ rhetoric in political news.  They take it as a convincing evidence to criticize the barrenness of democracy or human rights in our nation.  Democracy I think in this specific context is not the key point in the Authority’s shoes.  A western journalist, I still remember, asked the Prime Minister, Jiabao Wen, a question on how to comment on the event when he came to office.  Stabilization is supreme over all, he responded to the question indirectly.  It is definitely obvious that in historical books the Authority makes every endeavor to speak highly of the patriotism of college students in protesting Northern Warlords Government in 1919.  70 years later, what the college students received is a heavy and bloody crackdown.  Ironically?  It is circulated in unofficial history that Mao, the founder of the nation, once said that Lu Xun, well-known for his critical articles targeting Kuomintang’s brutality and rudeness within its governing areas, had better silence himself, or he would be jailed, when he was asked that what would happen if Lun Xun kept writing to criticize the Athority in peacetime.  It is at the core of the Authority to safeguard the stability of its regime, and democracy is only one of the vehicles to materialize the goal of “stability overrides everything”.  It is almost impossible for the Authority to put up with any activity, however pro-democracy or anti-democracy, of doing damage to the unity and completeness, or “harmoniousness”, of the regime.

大地震已逾一载，是到了写一点东西的必要了。逝者已逝，活着要活。

 按照空间-时间的连续模型，时间是一条单方向的直线，而大地震永远地被定格于地球公元2008年5月12日。然而，时间轴的前方又会有怎样的事情发生，谁也无法预知。据说，诸葛亮能推算身后5000年的事情，刘伯温可预测身后500年的事情。这种说法也只能是小时候在夏天的某个繁星点点的晚上，躺在凉席上，摇着奶奶用棕蒲叶子剪裁的扇子，在茱萸树下听老人讲故事的岁月痕迹了。世界总是这样的充满不确定性。有些不确定性似乎完全无法预知，比如地震、海啸、突发性瘟疫、恐怖活动等。而有些不确定在一定程度上似乎又可以控制和预防，比如疾病、交通事故、离异、失业、经济衰退等。好比财务估价中说到，系统风险不可分散，非系统风险可以分散。综合自身二十来年在人间的经历和观察周遭人士的境遇，有时候感到，有些事情似乎在前世冥冥之中已经注定，其发生与否完全取决于事情是否引入个人的时间表。人的一生似乎是一个遭遇不确定、面对不确定、化解不确定的过程。个人能在某个不确定中斩将通关，就准备迎接下一个不确定。这就像小时候第一次打超级玛丽游戏时，我时时刻刻会遭到游戏设置的暗算，随时都可能结束游戏。可惜，人生不是游戏，而是在某条单行道上行走，去了就没有回头了。不确定又并非都是不利的事情，好事情也很多，比如中个彩票、得个大奖、遇见一生的知己，或者在超级玛丽游戏中吃到一朵大蘑菇，体型大增，功力无敌；又好像段誉无意中进入无量山庄，碰到了神仙姐姐的塑像，学得了凌波微步。不确定就好象生活为你同时在眼前安放了无数扇门，你又无法预知哪扇门会在下一秒打开，门后又有怎样的故事在等着你，而门后的门后的故事就更无从知晓了。不确定是人生的一个梦魇，同时又是人生等待未来世界的一个良好憧憬。

 可能，不确定本身就是一种确定。